I started writing this last night at 4 A.M. I have no clue where it's going, but I am super excited to find out! It is written in verse. I've been doing that a lot lately. Maybe it will merge to be a collection of verse stories- who knows.

I can’t remember when
and if I ever had anything

worth anything at all.

Always sacrificing myself

for the wrong thing.

Always too far
in between.

Always too far away

from where I wanted to be.

Always asking

if where I was

would it be enough to breathe.

And if that were a yes,

then where would the source of oxygen be?

And then there’s you.

“Sam where are you?
I’m lost.

You’re supposed

to be here waiting for me.

I’m all dressed up

and you’re not going to show.

I’m holding the roses your mom gave me.

She says you would have wanted me to have them,

because they’re your favorite.

The pews are empty

and the lights just went off.

No light is shining through Mary.

Your light is gone.

The darkness is sweeping me up in the waves,

rolling in the deep end-

and I’m drowning.

I can’t see anything.

I can’t see you.

Your dad told me

you would be across town.

I knew you weren’t coming.

I’ve known for days.

I’ve known Sam.

I loved you

and you made me watch you leave.

And now I do not have the strength

to remove myself from these steps-

where you last were.

The dress that should be white,

is dyed a devilish black.

Fallen petals lay on the cherry carpet,

along with a foot-printed card

on the foot of the steps.

I pick it up.

The envelope is addressed

to your parents.

I open it and pull out the card.

It reads:

Danielle and Richard,
Mark and I are so sorry.
We both loved Sam.